I Grieve
by MidnightShadow07
Summary: "She wasn't sure how long she was there, but suddenly Felicity felt arms wrapped around her and a kiss to her forehead, making her cry harder as she knew that it had to be Desmond. Not that she ever believed in ghosts or spirits or whatever you wanted to call them, but in that moment she needed it to be Desmond." One-Shot


**A/N: As much as I would **_**LOVE**_** to write a crossover story like this, at the moment I can't unfortunately. This came to me at work, and although it's only a one-shot I can see it eventually becoming a story. The title is from Peter Gabriel of the same name. The lyrics just seemed to be right for this story. Well, please review and let me know what you guys think!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything anyone recognizes**

**I Grieve**

"Why the hell can't I help?" Felicity Smoak asked her cousin desperately, frowning with concern. "You know for a fact that I can easily hack into their system! You never even have to go to Brazil and enter that stupid machine again! I can try to find what it is they know!" Felicity stared into his amused and serious brown eyes and facial expression. "Des! Come _**on**_! I helped keep you under the radar and then sent the others to save you _**after**_ you got captured!"

Desmond Miles smiled and took hold of her face. Despite that she was only a year younger, Felicity unfortunately had to grow up a lot quicker than the rest of their family members. Just like he had to. If it wasn't for their screwed up parents, they would have never been as close as they were. Desmond couldn't help but be grateful that his uncle–Felicity's father–had left when he did, not telling his aunt or cousin about their family secret. Of course, his own father told him Felicity didn't have the signs that said she needed training. Her innocence and kindness would have been _**destroyed**_ because of this secret world. Desmond was actually surprised of how well Felicity had taken the secret and wondered if she _**did**_ have the signs, just choose to ignore them, not telling anyone.

Yes, he was grateful that she had helped keep him under the radar–and he should have asked her to give him a motorcycle license, since his fingerprint was needed for it in New York. If it wasn't for that damn tidbit, the organization that kidnapped him would have _**never**_ known where he was. He was foolish, too, being cocky and thinking that after nine years in hiding a single fingerprint wouldn't be his undoing.

That was surely a wake-up call for him!

"I love you too much to not get you involved." he tells her the truth.

Felicity sighs, nodding her understanding as she had her own secrets that she couldn't tell him as well. "I'm sorry to hear about Lucy." Felicity says in return, reaching forward and taking hold of his hand. Desmond hums, nods and smiles softly. "It wasn't your fault, you know." she tells him, frowning. "You have no control of your body whatsoever! It was _**Juno**_ who had controlled you, you were just powerless!"

Desmond sighs and reaches out to place a hand on her cheek. "So perspective and so innocent at the same time." Felicity smiles, leaning into the hand, feeling the knot in her stomach since her cousin had stopped on his way to New York from Italy seeming to grow with more tension. "Thank you." he leaned in and kissed her forehead, feeling her exhaling the tension. "I'll keep you posted. Love you."

Felicity sighs, wrapping her arms around her middle as she watched him get in the waiting cab with the others. "Love you too. Please be careful."

Desmond smiles back at her, holding up a hand before closing the door. She watched the cab driving away, Felicity's stomach tying in knots with dread. Luckily for her, Felicity placed a tracker on the disposable phone she had bought and given to Desmond. Her phone ringing, Felicity answered without looking away from the nearly gone cab now down the street.

"Yeah?"

"_Hey, I need you to come in."_

"Be there in fifteen."

And she turned away once the cab turned the corner. She really hoped that things go well for them, and that nothing bad happens to her cousin.

* * *

><p>"He's such an idiot."<p>

Felicity burst out laughing, nodding in agreement, wiping her tears. When Desmond said he just got off the plane, he _**literally**_ just got off the plane and getting into a cab. Due to all the emails they've been sending back and forth, Felicity thought it best to meet at the club–since she was already there anyways and it was fifteen minutes from the airport. On the second level, where they had a bit more privacy to talk, they took a table that overlooked the ground level, watching everyone dancing whatever the DJ was playing for them. To say that Felicity was happy to see her cousin was the understatement as she wouldn't let go of him after hugging him tightly.

After she told him about Oliver telling her that he loved her but not able to be with her, Desmond couldn't help but feel for his cousin. Sure, he's had his share of relationships, but nothing to the point that he was in love with them. Felicity has only ever had one boyfriend that she's ever cared for deeply, but it was only a phase to mask the true pain that she was feeling. He can somewhat relate, however, to Oliver as he was on a freaking island for _**five**_ years–but surely three years back into the civilization should have made him more…_**human**_?–and Desmond trying to live under the radar.

Neither of them really knew how to deal with those they love, keeping secrets to protect their loved ones.

With a sigh of regret, Desmond brings up a hand to her cheek, smiling sadly as Felicity leans into his hand. Oh, he truly hated keeping secrets from her, but if he knew what was happening not only would she be on the Templar's list, but on Juno's too. There was just something about that spirit that he didn't like, and he couldn't shake off that feeling of something terrible about to come to him.

Seeing the struggle, Felicity frowned and opened her mouth to say something when the Queen siblings, a young man about a few inches shorter then Desmond, and a body guard suddenly appeared. Thea placed their drinks on the table for them as Oliver merely stood there, awkward and uncomfortable but glaring at Desmond, seeming to dislike him before they even spoke to each other. Desmond brought his hand down from Felicity's cheek, but kept hold of the hand she placed on his first, grinning at the annoyance flashed he saw in the older man's blue eyes. Felicity felt herself blushed, but kept her chin up, knowing that she didn't owe Oliver any explanation whatsoever.

So, why did she feel like the need to do so?

"Here you are, anything else I can get you?" Thea asked, seeming to be amused by the situation as well.

Desmond smiles, shaking his head. "No, thank you."

Still grinning, she winked at him before walking away, Desmond shaking his head. He looked up at Oliver, holding his gaze, not one bit worried, before looking over to his cousin, who seemed to be staring solely at Oliver. Her emotions, no matter how hard she tried to keep hidden from everyone was very plain and simple to him, and Desmond hated to see his cousin suffering. But he noticed too that Oliver was suffering too, letting him know that he was just pushing his cousin away thinking that it was the right thing to do.

Desmond just hoped that when he finally realizes what it is that he's feeling and what it means that it wouldn't be too late. Deciding that he's been in _Starling City_ for too long, he took hold of his whiskey and drank it right away, squeezing Felicity's hand once before standing up and letting her go. He hated to leave his cousin without much giving her answers, but with how dangerous things were taking, he had to do it. Besides, from what he can tell, Felicity was in good hands.

"Hi, I'm John Diggle." the body guard starts first, holding out his hand.

The other man also held out his hand, smiling thinly. "And I'm Roy."

Desmond grins, shaking his hand before looking to Oliver, holding out his hand to him. "And you must be Oliver, Felicity's told me a lot about you. The three of you, actually."

Oliver, frowning slightly, takes his hand, looking quickly to Felicity before looking back at him. "Nice to meet you too, but I'm afraid that she's never spoken about you."

Desmond laughs, looking over to Felicity who was still blushing, but smiling up at him nonetheless. Man, he hoped to God that he would be able to see that smile again one day. But the Assassin had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that this might be the last meeting he may ever have with his cousin. "I'm sure she's had, but never really saying my name." he looks back to the three men, "She's cryptic like that."

"So…who _**are**_ you?" Roy asked, confused and annoyed, wanting to know.

Desmond laughs again, like the guy. Yes, Felicity was in capable hands. "Sorry, my name's Desmond Miles." he grinned towards Oliver, "Her cousin."

Immediately Oliver relaxed, but also felt both shamed and embarrassed. Desmond shakes his head in amusement and looked over to his cousin, who got up and walked over to him. He sighs and hugs her tightly, closing his eyes so as to remember her as such. He really did hope that the knot in his stomach wasn't right, that he would be back to see his cousin finally have that love that she deserves and that she won't suffer any longer.

"You are my light to the darkness of the world I had been forced into, Felicity." Desmond tells her quietly, hugging her just a tad tighter. "And Oliver is a lucky man to have such a light in his own dark life!"

Felicity pulls back slightly, tears in her eyes as she stares up at her cousin. "Please tell me that this isn't a goodbye?" she asked, trying to be strong.

"I hope not." he tells her honestly, smiling softly. "Remember, I love you."

"I love you too."

With another smile, Desmond leans forward and kisses her forehead, squeezing her arms for good measure. He turns to the three men, giving them hard looks. "Take care of her."

Diggle and Roy nod and mutter their promise, while Oliver states, "With my life."

Desmond nods at him, seeming to understand more of the words behind what he had just said, even if he didn't know what they meant at that moment. He then walks away, feeling a piece of his heart tearing and staying behind with the only family member he's truly loved and cared deeply for. On the ground floor, near the doors, Desmond stops and looks back up to see Felicity and the three men on either side of her looking back at him. With a sigh and sorrow in his eyes, Desmond pulls up his hood and walks away, already knowing that that was the very last time they would see each other.

* * *

><p>Felicity sat in the middle of the lair, engulfed by Desmond's white hoodie and a bottle of hard liquor–that was already half gone–that Thea gave to her after seeing the devastated look Felicity didn't doubt she had. She knew that the lair was going to be deserted as Oliver had moved in with his sister after they brought her back from Corto Maltese. She can still remember the day when her uncle came to meet her just outside of <em>Palmer Technologies<em>–and wondering how he had found her!–looking both guilty and grief-stricken.

William Miles looked nothing like Desmond, who seemed to inherit his mother's features, but he certainly inherit his father's personality. Her uncle went on to say that he was sorry for not only his brother-in-law abandoning her and her mother, but for what had happened to Desmond. He didn't want to go into detail, despite her yelling and demanding of what had happened. All her uncle did was walk up to her and hold out Desmond's familiar white hoodie and a hidden blade, letting her know that Desmond wanted her to have it. And that there wasn't going to be any funeral.

Taking the items in a daze, Felicity could feel her heart breaking and when she looked up to scream and yell and demand from her uncle, he was gone. She couldn't remember driving, but she got to the club and went straight to the bar, holding on to the items tightly to her heart, staring at a shock looking Thea before she grabbed a full bottle of liquor and gave it to her, no questions and free of charge. With a nod of appreciation, Felicity walked away down the hallway to the door that led to the lair and locked herself in. She placed the hidden blade on her desk before sitting in the middle of the equipment and put on his hoodie.

As soon as she did, Felicity smelled the body spray that belonged only to her cousin and one that he always loved to wear. That was when she broke down and sobbed, drinking the liquor until it was halfway gone, feeling on the very edge of drunk and very much buzzed. Remembering his last words to her, Felicity cried, bringing up her knees and wrapping her arms around them, sobbing into them, grateful that no one was there to hear her.

She wasn't sure how long she was there, but suddenly Felicity felt arms wrapped around her and a kiss to her forehead, making her cry harder as she knew that it had to be Desmond. Not that she ever believed in ghosts or spirits or whatever you wanted to call them, but in that moment she _**needed**_ it to be Desmond. Looking up, Felicity felt disappointed, but also relieved. She should have known that Thea would have called her big brother as there he was sitting next to her with his arms wrapped around her, looking both lost and concerned for her. Not wanting any words, merely his presences was a comfort for her, Felicity cried, leaning into Oliver, her arms tightening around her knees.

Oliver tightened his hold around the woman he loved, his heart breaking with each sob and struggling breath that she took. He never wanted to see her like this, so broken and lost. It wasn't his Felicity, who truly was his light to his darkness. He wanted her back, but knew for now this is what she needed. Oliver may not know the details, but knew that Felicity would tell him eventually in her own time. All he can do was be there for her and try to give her all that she needed from him–even a bit of a glimpse of the love he has for her.

Felicity tightened her hold on Oliver, burying her face into his chest. The one person she was always able to turn to when things turned to the worse was now gone, and Felicity wasn't sure how she was going to be able to cope. Sure, she had Oliver and Diggle and Roy, but Desmond was family who loved and understood her from the beginning. For a moment, Felicity wondered if she was cursed for everyone she truly loved was quickly gone from her life, leaving a bigger gap in her heart. Her heart won't break completely, no, not until Oliver. Whatever it would be, Felicity knew that it would be Oliver that would be her undoing.

Inhaling a shuddering breath, Felicity turned her head and looked towards her desk, seeing the blade at the edge of her desk. As the last of her lineage–for she doubted that her other cousins would pursued this life, their parents not caring if they did or not–Felicity vowed to learn all that she could and train hard. Not for the sake of tradition that went generations, but for what Desmond had believed in at the end and to honor his memory.

And to keep his memory alive.


End file.
